Why I Couldn’t Get Past 4 Episodes of ‘True Blood’

My new favorite blog site is Grantland.com. It has everything I could ever ask for: the nation’s best writers (Bill Simmons, Chuck Klosterman, Jay Caspian Kang), and topics are sports-focused or about pop culture. Can’t get much better than that.

So in a cheap attempt to rip off that blog’s theme, here’s my first real foray into writing about pop culture. By no means is the writing as good, but my mom always told me to at least try.

About a month ago I was bored and decided to see what all the hype about “True Blood” was all about. After getting four episodes into the series, nothing’s change: I’m still wondering what all the hype is about. It’s like I was eating at this uber-publicized restaurant only to be let down by a menu that was no better than Outback Steakhouse (it should be noted, I do enjoy my blooming onion and Outback Special). Naturally, I started my “True Blood” journey at the beginning, with season 1, episode 1. I watched it from my newly downloaded HBO Go app on my iPad (by the way: Best. App. Ever.). Here are some random thoughts I’ve compiled to dispute some friends’ claims that this is the best show ever.*

A Beautiful Cast?
I guess “beauty” is a rather subjective and relative thing. Is the cast more beautiful than me? Why, certainly! I wouldn’t want to go up against any of them in a beauty contest – guys included.

But I heard many a friend and critic say how sexy the cast is. Before I heard all this chatter, I even remember vocalizing to my fiance that the “True Blood” cast was a bunch of almost-good-looking actors put together for an HBO show. To me, Stephen Moyer (who plays the character of Bill Compton) is the

poor man’s version of Olivier Martinez. Ryan Kwanten (aka Jason Stackhouse) is probably the most good-looking cast member, but once his unintelligent character opens his mouth, any beauty just subsides for me.

Great Acting?
Questionable at best. After reading up and finding out Anna Paquin won a Golden Globe for her role as Sookie Stackhouse (ugh… and don’t get me started on the name “Sookie”), I couldn’t believe it. Now, I’ve loved Pacquin since her role in “The Piano,” and I thought she made an excellent Rouge in “X-Men” (which is easily my favorite cartoon/comic of all time). The girl can flat-out act. I’m not disputing that. But asking a Canadian-New Zealander to play a girl from the Bayou is a little bit too much to ask.

Vampires
I think I missed the train on the vampire hype. I never watched a lick of the “Twilight” movies or read any of the books (again, I hear they are awesome). I think there’s a show called “Supernatural” or something that kind of delves into this idea. I think if I were more into the vampire thing I could appreciate the show and maybe even watch an entire season. But that whole world is something alien to me, like asking me to get on the bandwagon for the Chicago Cubs when I really don’t appreciate baseball and especially the National League. Nothing against any Cubbies, it’s just not my thing. Just like vampires aren’t either.

*This is mostly an uneducated rant spliced with a huge desire to understand what makes this show so interesting. I really do want to know. I’m actually hopeful someone can (nicely) educate me on why this show is so good. I know millions of people love this show, so I think I’m just missing out and not seeing the 800-lb. elephant in the room. If anyone can provide details of what makes this show so good, I am completely open to hearing as to why.

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